Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I'm feeling sorry for myself today...just today

(warning venting and feeling sorry for myself post) I'm just going to start typing so bear with me...

I feel so overwhelmed lately with doing Rickie's meds and treatments and taking care of everything...

Most of the time it doesn't bother me, or I don't let it bother me...he's CF doesn't exist...yeah, he does treatments every single day--but, that's normal. When he gets sick it's a slap in the face that it exists and even if he isn't coughing, mucus is building up in his lungs trying to grow bacteria. blah,blah blah....

Both of my parents are not doing well and that's a constant worry as well...I'm the only kid left so it's up to me to help them. (when I can) that's another thing I can't help them as much as I want to.

The anniversary of my brothers death is coming up October 23rd so I'm thinking of him a lot.

I guess it's just a bunch of stuff piled up...I can take it most days. I'm rambling I know

I also realize, it could be worse, and others have it harder than I. If you're out there I am so sorry, and know that--I do think of others and their circumstances all the time.

I pretty much do this every couple of months (feel sorry for myself) and most of the time I don't publish..I decided today that I would and be done with it.

Here's to tomorrow and moving forward.

Thanks for listening!


Ronda's Rants said...

Please do not apologize...I would be surprised if you didn't become sad at some point! I am sorry and I hope you feel better soon...I am sorry about your brother as well...I am sure that is hard! When I feel sad...I love to take long walks in a beautiful place...go to Starbucks and get a pumpkin latte...big bubble baths and read good books! problems don't go away...I know but I feel stronger after awhile! Recharge yourself!! :)

Jennifer said...

OMG--you certainly have a lot on your plate!! Feel free to vent--I think it's important to!

Ronda gave some great advice about Starbucks and bubble baths and books! Sometimes you just need to get away and clear your head a little.

Hang in there--tomorrow will be better!!

Oh, also--thanks for stopping by my blog!!

The Rule Maker said...

I know we, this blogging community, are not your family but we are here for you! It is why we all blog. Well, it is why I blog. Community is a beautiful word and YOU do have a community here. Use it! Also, communicating that you are having issues is the best thing to do. If you hold it all in you will break. Vent away!

cyclingred said...

Everyone has the right to own their feelings. No need to apologize. Venting on your blog is a good place for it. You have a lot to deal with.

"When spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking." Arthur Conan Doyle

Get some fresh air and then you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Rhonda said...

One of the reasons that I love to blog is because it is mine. I can say what I choose, what I feel, what I think and if people don't like it, that is their "perogative". It is my therapy, my link, my therapy. It is where I love to write about some of my memories. Lately it has been a little lame, but it is mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

And likewise, your blog is yours. You write what you need to write on whatever basis you choose, and your readers can like it or lump it.

That said, this reader is choosing to give you a big cyper hug! You have your right to a pity party. You supply the chips, I'll bring the dip! lol

dandelionia said...

I love you!!!!

careysue said...

This is to all of you--Thank you so much you make my heart swell! It's so weird how that works I've never met any of you, yet I feel as though I know you all..(said in the voice of Judy garland in the wizard of Oz) haha

Anyway I really do thank you! :)

Ali--I love you too!

RBK's Realm said...


I would feel worried if you did not vent or let it all out considering all you are going through.

Get out for a bit- go take a run. You are runner- those endorphins will kick in immediately and keep the faith.

Yes you do have a community here that truly cares for you and that means sharing as much as you need to.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think you have every right to get stressed and overwhelmed, and you shouldn't apologize for it. We all go through those feelings and we don't deal with half the stuff you do!

Anonymous said...

Like I said, when this mood comes up it's a signal that you need to take care of yourself, even in a small way. Everyone feels overwhelmed at times and it's ok. Do a workout then take a nice relaxing bath. Listen to some soothing music. Just treat yourself well for a little while. YOU deserve it. It's self preservation so that you can face another day.


Lex the mom said...

You often mention what a trooper Rickie is & I wholeheartedly agree! But you are so much more than that. Especially hearing from you (even before this) all that you've gone through. I think you have a strength beyond what you know. Sometimes I think that part gets lost in the things we do everyday, in our saddest memories, and in the fears we have.

All of that can eventually take its toll. I don't know if I have words that can help you through this, but I can send you a virtual hug (squeezy - can you feel it?) and wish that you are feeling better soon. I agree that you need to take some time for yourself to help you relax & take in something really awesome - make sure it's something that makes you utterly happy!

amelia bedelia said...

wow, i will really be thinking about you...tough times! you will get through this.

Blessings From Above said...

Oh honey, no apologies necessary. You have a lot on your plate and have every right to vent.

I wish I was there to give you a hug!

Glenda, saved by grace said...

I always say, This too will pass. This feeling ...sometimes I get all pitiful too. God is in control and He will NEVER put more on you than you can handle!

Alicia said...

Some days are rough, and when an anniversary is approaching it's understandable. You have my sympathy.

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